Since time being African especially have embraced the white man’s culture of dating in order to know each other better before marriage but he two parties often times it crashes without yielding any fruitful results and as such they blame each other for the break but at a closer look at it you will discover the cause of the problem and today we are going to see some of these problems
LACK OF PLANS: Most often people enter inot relationship without plans.Hardly will you see some lovers sitting together to plan their future in advance and as a result they live a life of ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.Normally relationship is meant to be a decision and planning stage for marriage in advance since its core aim of 80% of lovers to marry.This not only lead to breakage but it causes a lot of havoc to the family in case they finally marries.Normally the two should sit and ask themselves question about their future and build it together.Many Nigerian ladies believes its the work of only men to plan and tell them what they wants but its not like that because you are not his maid but companion and as such you still have a lot to contribute and mind you that any sensible man does not forget any woman that contributes to his future that is why you see men still go back and marry their old friends even after flirting with many ladies when he gets money.
Men,,any woman who does not add value to your life during dating can never add any good value to your life when you marry her except to give birth to you.We are no more in era of ITS MEN’S WORK.right now things has changed that its even women that’s providing for families now after all there’s no law that says it must be a man that does something.Call him,ask him his salary rate,tell him yours then make agreement you both can save out of the salary monthly in other to start business or build house or buy car in next 2-5 years.Stick to the plans and see it work
LIES AND CHEATING: This is the moving trend of the day,men and women alike are no longer satisfied with one partner and one wonders why its getting worse daily and the reason is far fetched as its cos sex is now mistaken for love.Men fall for size of boobs and ass while women on their own fall for cuteness and of course its known now that 79% of Nigerian ladies accepts proposal be able to see who’ll solve their financial problems for them after all its all about sex and that’s the payment or because age is getting against them.Its because of money issue that’s why many ladies today has fall prey to short temptations and most times lost opportunity to get married by who loves them.You hear them say MEN ARE DOGS but you keeps opening the legs for them and as such you are the she dog.You sell your integrity cos of little money cos of laziness because matured ladies work their money out and don’t look on men.Get work or business and stop been used by men without thinking twice.In Nigeria once you woo a woman you turn to her father that will buy her all she needs or her new ATM which is quite unfair as its not normal.Again,don’t just accept a man’s proposal cos age is going against you.Mind you that the worst decision in life is entering marriage with the wrong partner,its better to remain single than marrying the wrong person unless you are someone who does not love peace of mind.Both men and women fall prey of the circumstance,why cheating your friend while you are still dating? If you are tired LET GO OF IT and be free to date another.Even if your partner is not satisfying you on bed(weak erection,quick ejaculation,pains during penetration or lack of sex orientation ) as this is a major issue these days,work together and solve it so you can enjoy your sex life as sex is a fuel to marriage and relationships.Know how your partner responds to different styles and whichever she/he enjoys most,,seek for more ways to build up your relationship
HAVING MARRIAGE IN MIND:Yes its cool for you to marry who you date but its never a law that you must marry he that you dated.Almost all what many Nigerian women has in mind in every relationship is to press calculator for marriage.As far as am concerned someone comes to our lives either as a blessing or lesson.A times is good one has heart break before he/he meets the right person so as to learn lessons which will make you stronger in the marriage when you finally gets married.Don’t always expect marriage from every relationship as its why many complains of heart break.While dating him,show him reasons why he should make you mother of his unborn kids.Make him be the one begging you for marriage and not the other way round.How long you dated him does not matter but what value you added to his life.Force him to be reproductive and do team work with him and never put marriage in mind cos every human being has his own reasoning IQ but its your work that will direct his searching IQ to you for marriage.I have heard many say SO AFTER DATING ME FOR 5YEARS AND WE DID 6 ABORTIONS HE LEFT ME FOR ANOTHER GIRL,MEN ARE WICKED.What was in your mind when you were doing the abortion? Quite right hes responsible but whose more at risk? After the whole abortion you think he will marry you? noooooo,many believes you may not get pregnant again.If your relationship must be sex active,use condom,know your partners HIV status every 3months,track your ovulation and avoid having sex during 3 days to a day after your ovulation(I don’t mean menstruation) so you will be far from risking yourself with such complicated issues.
BEEN LAZY:So many people are just lazy and expects miracle to happen.While your mates are out there hustling,you keep going about hopelessly without plans and tomorrow you expect a man to come and marry you.Have you wondered why most rich men keeps marrying rich women? Its because they needs hardworking people.If you are a lady and expects to be married by a rich man,either you work and become rich or you help a man become rich.As for men,dust your ass and work hard,don’t ever put hope on sugar mummy things or miracle you didn’t work for as it will really fail you
LOW SELF ESTEEM:Always believe in yourself and define what you want in a relationship.Don’t just accept anything that comes up the relationship,set up policy that will favor you both but when you see you can’t win the race,kindly walk out and stay on your own and surely someone who will appreciate you will come up.Its normal that when two people are doing well in friendship,one is sacrificing his wisdom for foolishness but don’t because of that you become object of foolishness
Looking at marriage and relationship issues in Nigeria these days you will wonder why men are complaining though women are complaining but if you take a good survey you will see see men are complaining more especially the married ones then you ask yourself WHY? Recently someone published a book he intended to name CHANGE YOUR LIFE but they made a typographical error and wrote CHANGE YOUR WIFE and within 2weeks he sold more than 1million copies.That’s to show you that almost all men are troubling with marriage issues with their wives a home but if you touch women they give their own ordeal then bounce back to ask men what is wrong .Recently its becoming rampant,some young men do not want to marry again for fear of what married people are passing through that’s why once they by chance get a child or two from different ladies or even one,they lock up and remain single.It is true that a woman cannot refuse to get pregnant cos of labor pains but at same time we should think of life.If you watch well,the life span of married people are very low,if you doubt me,goto any church and count the number of married men and married women and widows then you ask why men are dieing more even when its obvious men are less in number which is why its going to be tough on women in the next 20years to marry cos men are very few and upon been small,most are in prison or mad or not hopeful or useless and drunks
ADVICE:Anytime you are accepting or entering into any relationship,watch the person very well if he/she has future since he or she will influence your life according to his/her own way of life in pone way or the other.Asw for ladies don’t hope for marriage by all and don’t accept rings cos of money because that money can finish tomorrow but if you plan well with a reasonable man you can invest and get more or you can help build up a man,he or she won’t forget you in life
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