When it comes to romance, many Nigerian men are actively engaging. Apart from their culture of carrying the financial burden of relationship with women, they harness every opportunity to appeal to their lovers, be it in their respective offices, religious organizations, parks, clubs among others.
Despite the many attributes that could be said of Nigerian men, some ladies still hold a contrary account about them. Predominant among the contrary views women hold against men here is that no matter how romantic they are, getting them to the altar for marriage could be very challenging.So, what are those factors that scare our men away from marriage? I have compiled some reasons that make most men feel jittery about the issues of ‘Marriage’ these days. Details below:
1. SCARCITY OF REAL WIFE MATERIALS: Common among some men is the reservation that there is scarcity of ‘wife-materials’ in Nigeria. In this case, they are not referring to ladies not being in quantifiable distribution among men, what they are saying is that most ladies of this generation lack the necessary attributes that will qualify them for the lifetime commitment called marriage. But time of quality search can help heal the wound of such man.Most ladies are just after material things.Most can’t marry an average man as they all wants to marry a millionaire as if they themselves are rich
2. THEY GET SEX FREELY WITHOUT MARRIAGE THAN IN TIME PAST:= Realizing now that they can get SEX more easily than in times past, when ‘virginity’ for women was a pass value to marriage, some men now feel lot of women today have lost it when it comes to keeping themselves whole. But, this might not be the fault of women as promiscuity is not an exclusive act.
3. NORRIS WEDDINGS ARE GETTING TOO EXPENSIVE:=The latest version of marriage in Nigeria now is “you must Wed me or forget about me” (Ladies Hmmmm)
In a country where a man is expected to marry a woman in three different kinds of wedding- Religious, Traditional and Court – the cost of marriage no doubt is something men find very intimidating. As of last year, the average Nigeria wedding cost something like N1,000,000 (N1m) and it goes upward from that to more unimaginable cost. For most people, especially in this economy, that’s a lot of money.
4. IN SEARCH OF A ‘WORKING CLASS LADY:Today, many Nigerian men are in search of a wife capable of sharing financial responsibilities with them. Gone are the days when men marry ‘full-house-wives’, the increasing cost of living has tilted most men in favor of ladies who have a means of livelihood and willing to share with their man, the burden of building a home.
5. FEAR OF FREEDOM:= There is a common belief among some men that marriage puts an end to one’s freedom. Single men today are much more proud about not being dependent and being on their own. They fear marriage because they will become answerable for every action they take to their spouse. That is one big responsibility some men are not ready to take up.
6. UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS FROM IN-LAWS:= Some parents have set certain standards for anyone who will marry their child, either way be it that such expectations are from the groom parent’s or bride, the regulations sometimes affect relationships. If the expectations are behavioral, the challenge might be little but there are some discouraging situations where parents decide the profession, properties, etc that must be acquired by the suitor before they can give out their child to him in marriage.
8. TRUST ISSUES:= Most times, people fear to get committed into a relationship because of trust issues. Some men have been bruised in their past relationships and therefore they don’t want to put themselves out there again.
9. BAD TESTIMONIES FROM MARRIED COUPLE:= Generally, most men get intimidated by marriage as a result of the testimonies they hear from those who are in marriage. Before getting into marriage talks, it is a common thing among men to ask their brothers, friends who are already married on how the social institution is and the testimonies they get are most times discouraging, as such they fear their marriage will be a replica of the testimonies they have gathered. Imagine when a friend will tell yo that his wife left him because he lost his job,it kills the interest of the man intending to marry which is why BABY MAMA is trend of the day now.Most guys just need a lady to bear kids for him and get off his way.If care is not taken CONTRACT MARRIAGE will replace other marriages in few years to come
10. CULTURAL/TRIBE LIMITATIONS: “I am a Yoruba I will NEVER Mary Igbos” mentality:= Nigeria is a country with diverse culture and The diversity sometimes create challenges for men who are in search of women with similar culture. The good thing though is that those who endeavor to explore inter-cultural relationships get the opportunity to gain an in-depth appreciation of other customs.
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Written by Prince Jones and edited by me