The Hills will soon be alive with the sounds of a baby crying and cooing.

By which we mean the following:

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are expecting their first child! Ever!!!!!!!!

Re-enacting the old days, when they flaunted their romance on the cover of any tabloid that would have them, Spencer and Heidi have broken this exciting piece of news in a feature piece for Us Weekly.

How did Montag spill the baby beans to Spencer? 

Pratt tells the magazine that he woke up one day in his Santa Barbara beach house, only to roll over and see his wife, “just standing there.”

The former MTV reality star, who apparently still exists, went on to set the scene for readers:

“The look on her face, I can’t even describe it. She was literally glowing. I thought she was about to say she made muffins or banana bread.”

(Editor’s Note: We assume this literal glowing was a result of 78% of Heidi’s body being made of plastic.)

So… that wasn’t it? Montag didn’t have any bread in the oven?

Nope. She had a bun instead!

Continued Pratt with his fascinating tale:

“Heidi said, ‘I’m pregnant.’ I was like, ‘Whoa, that’s way more exciting than banana bread!’”

Montag is reportedly 12 weeks along and due October 19.

She came right out and stated this past fall that she hoped to become a mother in 2017… and a few unprotected sessions of sex later, it’s happened!

How did she feel upon telling Pratt that he was going to be a father?

“Overwhelmed,” Heidi says, adding of that special moment: “I started crying, and he embraced me.” 

Pratt and Montag were pretty famous back in the late first decade of this century.

They starred on The Hills and feuded with Lauren Conrad and got lots of plastic surgery.

In 2009, Montag even claimed she underwent 10 procedures in one day!

Spencer and Heidi also unabashedly craved fame, not pretending to possess any real talents whatsoever and openly talking about their desire to extend their 15 Minutes for as long as possible.

We always sort of admired them for that.

You always knew what you were getting with Pratt and Montag… and it was typically hilarious!

Montag tells the magazine that:

  • She’s craving fish sticks, Sour Patch Kids and salt-and-vinegar potato chips these days.
  • She wanted a baby three years ago, but work obligations got in the way.
  • She hopes this first child is a boy.
  • She’s pretty darn psyched.

“I have never been more excited,” Heidi says in this cover story.

“The reality is sinking in that we are going to have a child! I’ve read every pregnancy book, and now I realize I don’t know anything.”

Whatever. 

Pratt has never really known anything about very much, but that hasn’t stopped him from somehow remaining famous.

CONGRATS TO THE HAPPY COUPLE!

The Hollywood Gossip