Game of Thrones Season 7: First Episode Titles Released!

Well, we might be a bit behind schedule due to the difficulty of finding suitably wintry filming locations on our increasingly balmy globe, but it’s finally time for our annual round of Let’s Speculate About Plot Points Based on Vague Game of Thrones Episode Titles!

In the past, the game was a bit easier, due to the fact that you could pick up one of the George R.R. Martin books that the series is based on figure out where things are headed.

If you had no interest in reading the books, you could just find a dude who owns a decorative sword or an iguana named Drogon and ask him what happens next.

These days, however, we’re well beyond the point where Martin’s last book left off, and it’s anyone’s guess as to where the Battle for the Iron Throne will lead from here.

Earlier today, HBO dropped three big clues in our lap, and they’re a lot like Danerys’ dragon eggs from Season 1:¬†

Loaded with potential, but frustratingly mysterious.

Fortunately, we’re here to help you puzzle them out.

Here are the episodes and what we can glean based on their somewhat vague titles:

Dragonstone (Sunday,¬†July 16, 9:00-10:00 p.m. ET/PT): As fans of the books (and those who paid very close attention to the dialogue from the show) might already know, Dragonstone is the name of the Targaryen’s homeland in Westeros.

Considering that’s where Dany and her fleet of ships were setting sail for in the Game of Thrones Season 6 finale, you can expect that that’s where much of the episode will take place.

You can also expect that the newly-crowned Queen Cersei won’t be happy to hear that yet another claimant to the Iron Throne has arrived in the West.

According to the official description from HBO:

“Jon (Kit Harington) organizes the defense of the North. Cersei (Lena Headey) tries to even the odds. Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) comes home.”

Yeah, not a whole lot of help there.

Stormborn (Sunday, July 23, 9:00-10:00 p.m.): Yes, it sounds like we’re in for two Khaleesi-heavy episodes in a row!

Any who dare complain will be promptly roasted (on Twitter, not by dragons).

Stormborn, of course, is one of Daenerys’ many names along with Mother of Dragons, Breaker of Chains, Inspirer of Impure Thoughts in Virginal Fan Boys.

The episdode’s description reads:

“Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) receives an unexpected visitor. Jon (Kit Harington) faces a revolt. Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) plans the conquest of Westeros.”

We know from a previously released photo that this is also the episode in which Jon Snow leaves Winterfell, so don’t be surprised if these two fan favorites finally join forces.

And Tyrion will be there, too!

The Queen’s Justice (Sunday, July 30 9:00-10:00 p.m.): And this being Game of Thrones, we shouldn’t be surprised that it sounds as though that happy moment will be followed by misery for all.

“Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) holds court. Cersei (Lena Headey) returns a gift. Jaime (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) learns from his mistakes.”

“The King’s Justice” is a phrase used to refer to the royal executioner in King’s Landing.

Since Cersei is sitting atop the Iron Throne these days, we’re guessing heads will roll in this episode.

The description from HBO reads:

“Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) holds court. Cersei (Lena Headey) returns a gift. Jaime (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) learns from his mistakes.”

So there you have it, couple that with what we already know about Season 7, and you start to get an idea of the show’s penultimate season.

Not surprisingly, it’s dark, but it sounds like it’ll be peppered with some fan-pleasing moments, as well.

As always you can watch Game of Thrones online to get caught up in time for the big premiere.

But hurry – winter in July is coming,

The Hollywood Gossip

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